It's coming up on another new year, and I am experiencing some angst over how poorly our plans for 2012 turned out. Circumstances beyond our control just beat us down time and again. That's 3 years in a row now, and I am just worn out from the whole enchilada.
I didn't realize how far down into the abyss my brain was until I had to put myself on Facebook Time Out today for over sharing and, God Forbid, being a Negative Nellie. For shame, for shame.
The thing is, other than the people at the medical facilities, the coworkers at Amazon, and the occasional short conversation with the manager at the RV Park, I have not had face to face contact with anyone who isn't an immediate family member in over 2 years. I cannot remember the last time I went anywhere by myself except to the bathroom. My son is difficult to live with under the best of circumstances, and being cooped up in the middle of nowhere in a tiny travel trailer with nobody but me to talk to has us both pretty much at wits end. This has been going on for nine months now, and I don't see it getting any better in the future.
It feels like a Catch-22 most of the time. Damned if I do, Damned if I don't and no solutions that allow me time, money, or energy to take care of myself.
It's my own fault, I know. I've made decisions based on the knowledge and information I've had, and things have happened that nobody could have foreseen and it's been brutal to keep trying to overcome obstacles. I'm not blaming anyone for where I am, just saying that my head isn't in a good place and I know it.
Anyway, said all that to say this ... I probably won't be blogging here much next year. What energy I have is going to have to be channeled into activities that bring a better return on my investment of time, and blogging here just to let off steam isn't good for anybody, including me.
Hope 2013 surprises me with something better, but I am not ho