I suppose I should find some comfort in knowing my ashes can be placed in the cubicle with his, but I don't even know that I want to stay in Texas let alone know where/how my remains will be disposed of. I just hope I manage to get enough things done before my death so as not to leave a tremendous burden on my daughter. It is bad enough that she'll need to look after her brother, assuming he outlives me, without having to sort through 25 years of projects, plans, and postponed dreams.
Bob has been gone for over a year now. I visited his spot in the Houston National Cemetery on his birthday, one year to the day since we interred his ashes. It was an overcast day with rain, which was a good mirror of my mood. Seeing his permanent plaque was agonizing although important. I know it was supposed to give me some sort of closure, and since it felt like a door had been slammed in my face, I guess it did.
I suppose I should find some comfort in knowing my ashes can be placed in the cubicle with his, but I don't even know that I want to stay in Texas let alone know where/how my remains will be disposed of. I just hope I manage to get enough things done before my death so as not to leave a tremendous burden on my daughter. It is bad enough that she'll need to look after her brother, assuming he outlives me, without having to sort through 25 years of projects, plans, and postponed dreams.
0 Comments
Three years no updates. My bad. My only excuse is that I've been busy. Bob and I celebrated our 25th anniversary in September of 2019 in between his many hospitalizations that year. Then came the COVID-19 Pandemic, and Bob died from it on April 25, 2020. I waited until his 77th birthday, June 29, 2020 to have his ashes interred at the Houston National Cemetery. I wanted his son to be able to see the military honors he was given, and although we had to wear masks, at least we didn't have to watch from the car. So here I am, recently widowed and sheltering in place as much as humanly possible because of the pandemic. After losing Bob to it, and being in an age and health where I'm high risk, I am taking every possible precaution to prevent my catching it.
I've still got a ton of things I need to do, although I've made tremendous strides in the past couple of months closing accounts, transferring bills to my name, and in general figuring out how to survive on my own again. Losing Bob has been the hardest thing I've ever experienced, and I've had a lot of trauma and drama in my life. It feels like being lost at sea without any idea of which direction to find land. Pretty scary. I have wept often. I've spent way too much time on Facebook, because not knowing anybody in Nac coupled with the self quarantine, I'm lonely and as I told a friend recently, crumbs of contact are better than nothing. Today I discovered I still have a YouTube channel under the name Crescent City Gal so I am going to learn how to use the new Studio and perhaps upload more music videos. That would at least give me a reason to pull out the instruments and play with my Google Pixel 3XL. (Of which I now have 2 since I have mine and I have Bob's.) Right now all my videos for music are here on this site, mostly for my sister. And that's all the news for today.
Well, maybe I need this, but you'll see why.
I think any one of these would work.
Oh, and the cat needs a costume - this was the closest I could find.
There ... my shopping list is complete.
CRESCENT CITY GAL IS A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND AFFILIATED SITES.
For the umpteenth time since I began this journey, I've changed what I'm going to do with the website.
You know, when I first got the idea for this url, I thought I was going to develop an online income, and then I was going to help people from my hometown learn how to harness the internet for their economic health and well being. It hasn't exactly worked out that way, although I have certainly learned a lot over the years I've been messing around with this "online income" project. Along the way I've had a number of successes (one page I had on Squidoo earned me over a thousand dollars during the time it was active) but many, many failures. Some failures were because of things beyond my control - Squidoo being ripped out from under me was a biggie that I don't think I shall EVER forgive Seth Godin for. Buying crappy software that was destined to fail was my fault, but still a good lesson. So here it is May of 2017, and I haven't done much with this except the occasional blog post and paying the yearly registration. It's really hard, at least for me, to be the Crescent City Gal when I don't live anywhere near, and haven't been able to get home even for a visit in years. Still, I can't bear the thought of giving up the url. I may live in Texas, but in my heart I am and always will be the Crescent City Gal. So ... I moved this blog to the front page, deleted all the old links that no longer work (except I haven't gotten to all the pages yet) and archived old pages I'd moved from Squidoo. Maybe in the next few days I'll do a quick update on what's happened since my last post in January. There's a lot I haven't shared here. It has been a bit of a rocky road since we got back to Texas. You know the drill; same old, same old.
Dialysis wipes Bob out - so pretty much 3 days of each week he's just physically unable to get up and do much. So about 3 weeks back, he told his new doctor about a serious increase in the amount of urine he was producing, and the doc thought maybe he might be able to either get off dialysis or at least reduce the frequency and/or duration. That was the good part. The bad part is there have been issues the last 2 times he did the test, and now he must do the thing for the 3rd time. (The thing is a 24 hr urine collection to detect kidney function.) So he will have to stay home all day tomorrow and cannot go with me on an errand that we need to do. So one of the BEST things that we've experienced was that we attending our first square dancing lesson last night. It was a much more vigorous workout than I had anticipated, and I woke up stiff and sore this morning, but it was the most fun we've had in years. Can hardly wait for next Monday night! Today, though, wow ... it was just one damned thing after another. I had taken my son to the doctor on Friday for medication refills. The doc was excellent and I chose to have the prescriptions sent to the closest Wal-mart, which is a neighborhood market and pharmacy. Then I saw the same doc yesterday, and got my two prescriptions sent to the same pharmacy. I went to pick them up along with making a small purchase of 2 items I'd forgotten previously, after picking Bob up at dialysis. It was at best, a frustrating experience. First, Tim's prescription still wasn't ready - they were supposed to have received it, but it wasn't unpacked yet, so I have to make another trip to town to fetch it later. That was irritation #1. Second irritation was that only one of my prescriptions was ready, the other won't be in stock until tomorrow. But that's not the worst of it. Both medications (which I have used for years) have increased so dramatically that I wanted to cry. The ointment I use was $75 last time I purchased it (and I paid for it myself) so I was ready to pay around 90 to 100 dollars for it. However, the price she quoted me was nearly $300. So I asked about the price of my antibiotic, which I used to get for $8 to $10 at Walmart. She said it was nearly $60. (I was so much in shock, I know she said fifty-something-and change, but all I could think was it's almost $60) Now this came right on the heels of Bob's bad news that he has to do his test again before he can find out about his future dialysis schedule. So that's a triple whammy, nerve-wise. But wait! There's More! When I opened the door to the driver's side, the handle broke. I'm not sure how bad that is or how hard it will be to repair, but in my state of mind at the time, it felt horrible. So off we head towards our current home thinking we were getting bad stuff out of the way in one fell swoop and joking about our series of unfortunate events. Then it got worse. s we started up the hill that is the overpass across I30, the van stopped responding to my gas pedal, and we began to lose speed. I slapped it into Neutral and we tried to coast all the way to the Valero gas station, but came to a halt just before we blocked the driveway to the Greenville Mitsubishi dealership. Hoping against hope that we'd merely run out of gas, and fearing our gas had been siphoned while we were away from the van, Bob set off to buy a gas can and some gas at the corner Valero. He soon learned that they don't sell gas cans, and he was going to call our roadside assistance when he returned to our vehicle. And that's where something Good and Kind and Wonderful happened: a worker at the dealership came out and asked Bob if he needed any help. When Bob said he hoped we'd just run out of gas but that Valero didn't sell gas cans, the man gave Bob a can of gas and asked only that we refill it and bring it back when we were through. So that's exactly what we did, after we put his gas in our van and discovered that we had, indeed, simply run out of gas. Getting home, we logged the mileage to see if we'd been siphoned, and discovered we'd actually driven 444 miles since the previous fill up. Normally we fill up at around 300 miles, since the gas gage hasn't worked for quite some time. And that is our drama du jour. Here's hoping nothing else goes wrong - I'm not sure I can handle much more stress. Seriously! So long Amazon; let's NOT do this again!The last two weeks were a lot rougher than they needed to be, thanks to an odd schedule change that affected all remaining campers. We worked on our days off, had Friday off, then worked into the following week five days straight. The only good thing about it was getting off on the 21st, so we could leave on Friday the 23rd. Kind of a crazy photo, I suppose - but this is what my locker looked like right before I emptied it for the very last time. Placing the TREK onto the Truck was Tricky!But we finally managed to get it onto the truck.Because it took us longer to get everything done on Thursday, we had to finish some stuff before we could pull out of Campbellsville on Friday. It was a little daunting for me, as I had not had the opportunity to practice driving the truck with the camper on it beyond a couple of trips around the campground before we hit the road. My palms were a bit sweaty when we started, but I soon calmed down. We drove from Campbellsville, KY to Charleston, MO on that first day. It got dark early and we were fogged in, so when we got to Charleston and found a truck stop, we boondocked for the night. I only took a photo of the camper - the van and argosy were parked over with the big trucks. I was so terribly tired, the noise of their engines didn't stop me from sleeping, nor even slow me down! Day Two Was The Longest Day Ever!Because dinner in the Huddle House was not so great the night before, we opted for coffee and a breakfast sandwich from the Flying J store before setting out on Day Two. We had to stop more often than we anticipated, because the truck was only getting 6 to 7 miles per gallon of gas. Consequently, the stops for gas were more frequent and costly than anticipated. I checked in on Facebook for two reasons: I wanted my family and friends to know I was OK, and I had this blog post at the back of my mind and knew that having it recorded on FB would help me recall things in the proper order. Ellsinore, MO was our first pit stop at 10:30 a.m. We pulled into the Leerjak Travel Center on US 60.Gas and Lunch was in Cabool, MO at the El RanchoI had a big cheeseburger, and relished every morsel. It was a long time from breakfast to lunch. We totally skipped eating dinner, I just realized. Talk about people on a mission! We gassed up again in Joplin, at 2 different gas stations because we got separated and I really needed gas and a bathroom. Finally found each other, got back on the right road going the right direction, and made it to Lamar, MO where we parked the argosy and van so we could take just the TREK and Truck up to our friend's home to deliver him back to his family before Christmas. We really would have liked arriving in daylight and getting a tour of his farm, but maybe next summer we can visit. We had no time to spare due to a much needed dialysis appointment in Greenville. However, by the time we got back to Lamar, we were too tired to drive and it was too dark so we just boondocked next to a big truck in the Walmart parking lot - the store was closed, so we couldn't go in and ask if it was OK. Day Three Was Terrifying, but started out good!It was still dark when we left, so I wasn't able to get any photos. Just imagine any big empty Walmart parking lot and you will know what it looked like. We drove 40 miles towards Joplin, heading for Miami, OK when Bob spied a Flying J and we made a slight detour to find it because he needed gas in the van. We were delighted to find this Flying J had a Denny's, so we stopped in for a hearty Christmas Breakfast. Our waiter was so nice and friendly - I thanked him for working on Christmas and told him how much we appreciated him and his kindness. I'm fairly certain Bob left him a nice tip as an extra thanks. Bob gave me this - he won it from a claw machine!Trouble began on the Oklahoma Turnpike.The truck had been coughing and periodically sputtering, so with each fill up Bob was putting an additive in the gas to clean out the injectors. However, once we got onto the turnpike, where the minimum speed was 50 mph, the only way I could keep up was to put the gas pedal to the floor and let the engine downshift and run at very high rpms. I was really scared, and we ended up limping off at Big Cabin, OK, just before 11 am. I had lost 3rd gear, and could only go about 35 to 40 mph, so getting back onto the turnpike was not an option. So we opted to limp along on an old road without the minimum speed requirement. Consequently, it took us longer to get to where we needed to be. Then we got rain and the sun set early, so we opted to spend the night in a casino parking lot. We had a sandwich in their restaurant that was quite good, so that was pleasant. Day Four and We Finally Made it Back to Texas!We got a nice early start on Day Four, Monday, and hit the Texas Travel Welcome Center at Denison, TX just before 9 am. What a welcome sight that was for us! Welcome To Our New Home - Greenville, Texas!This is where we shall remain for a few months while we get our bearings and get Bob onto peritoneal dialysis.
As December draws to a close, I am sitting here in the Argosy with 6 more work days until I am released from my 4th season working for Amazon, this time in Campbellsville, Kentucky.
We have been here since the end of July, having finally given up the apartment in Austin, and having moved back into the travel trailer bringing my son along for lack of any other place for him to be.
The first few months were ok, and we were thinking this gig woujld finally find us at the end with some coins to rub together and the means with which to finally realize our dream of traveling a bit.
The trip out here had given us a taste of how much fun that could be when we visited the diamond mine state park in Arkansas.
As is so often the case, however, our situation changed and quite dramatically.
The first change was that we bought a truck camper without a truck, partly to help a friend, and partly because we wanted one for ourselves. That meant we had to buy a pickup truck to carry it, so that absorbed several thousand of our hard earned dollars right from the get go. Not sorry for that purchase, and think it will be good in the long run.
Nope, the proverbial excrement hit the oscillating instrument on the 4th of November when 2 things happened on the same day. First, a situation with my disabled son came to a head and we had to "re-home" him or risk him getting beat up or worse. Second, my husband went to the ER and it turned out to be sudden onset kidney failure that came close to killing him. No joke; doc said he was less than one day away from dying if they hadn't done emergency surgery to install a dialysis catheter and give him dialysis 4 days in a row.
So November and December have been rough months for us. He went back to work after a convoluted struggle with HR at the local facility, but when they offered some campers an early release that included getting their completion bonus, with my encouragement and total approval, he took it.
So that leaves me to complete my contract, which wouldn't be too hard if they would quit screwing up my schedule, but that's par for the course at this facility I'm thinking. So we hope to leave here on the 23rd - drop our friend off in Missouri, and by the 25th arrive in our next semi-permanent location based on the available dialysis centers that are near my daughter and son back in Texas. Not even close to what we had planned, but you'd think by now, I would know not to count on anything ever working out as planned. I cannot even begin to imagine how dialysis is going to change our lives - the experience here has been somewhat surreal. One thing I am hoping is that I'll be able to focus and write a little more. I'm working on a new site called niume - so far I have only 2 posts up, but over time I suspect I can grow that if I pay attention. My first post on niume: To Save Money on Food, Do This Second Post: Bluegrass Carol of the Bells Since I earn money based on views, sharing either of those pages is much appreciated. The other main way I earn money by blogging is when people shop on Amazon by going through my links. Amazon has a strong affiliate program, which is seamless and does not cost the customer anything. If you feel like shopping, Diabetes STILL bites and I'm STILL struggling with it. However, I have some success this year with lowering glucose: it's called working at Amazon again. If I take my meds twice a day, AND eat a very small amount of low carb foods, AND fast intermittently, AND climb a lot of stairs and walk a lot at work, I can come home with a normal fasting blood glucose of 70 to 100. But it takes all 4 of these to make it happen. The days I don't work, no combination of the others keeps the glucose down. A Review of the Past Year in Super SpeedWe did not work Amazon in 2015. Our daughter moved up to the Dallas area and is finally settled down, we think for good. Her taking care of our son was not an option, so Amazon was not on the table due to that and also due to hubby's illness. However, come the first part of 2016 he was finally given a pacemaker and that began to change his life.
We sold a lot of stuff on eBay, removed nearly everything from Amazon (I don't want to take on the sales tax issues that are being created by having product stored across state lines), and tried working different local jobs. All were disapointments, but the cash helped. This year when we opted to come to Amazon again, we also decided to stop renting the apartment since we never wanted to live there ourselves. So after divesting ourselves of a LOT of stuff, we managed to cram what was left into our storage unit, moved back into the Argosy with our son, and trundled off to Kentucky. So I am looking at my online stuff and trying to decide how much of it I am willing to put time and energy into again, and it's not all that much. I'm getting older and I'm getting tired. Happens to the best of us, so why should I be so surprised that it's happening to me. No moral to this story ... unless you realize how short your life is and how important it is to be true to yourself and find your happy place. I wish you well on your journey. Discouraged over my lack of progress
I haven't really talked much anywhere other than on Facebook about my ongoing struggles with diabetes. What is so frustrating is that most of the places and blogs you'll see online are the people with the magnificent success stories of how they beat diabetes, mostly all with a low carb healthy fat eating plan. I think it's easy to get the idea that everybody in the world is successful and that you are the only "failure" at controlling your glucose with diet and exercise. At least that's my understanding today.
It occurs to me that in the diabetes and LCHF websites, there's some of the same "follow the money" and "fake it 'til you make it" sort of BS as you'll find in the Make Money Online biz. I'm getting rather jaded, I know, so I'll stop right there and just leave that observation. I've been battling diabetes for a very long time - many, many years - with various ups and downs, sometimes seemingly unrelated to my eating. This year, after a stressful but successful (because we made it to the bonus by completing the entire season) stint at the now closed Coffeyville Amazon fulfillment center, I started eating a low carb diet again, as that's what I'd had the most success with in previous incarnations of my eating patterns. So I've completed 16 weeks of experiments now, writing down my foods, and glucose readings. I started keeping a food diary in addition to the glucose readings in a document on my computer at the 8 weeks mark, and this morning I reviewed my progress ... or lack thereof. The successes ...
The Failures ...
Conclusions ...
What's next? I'm not totally sure yet, but I think maybe blogging about diabetes and sharing links here would do better than just sharing in Facebook all the time. A lot depends on what happens with my upcoming job (crossing my fingers I get the one I want), my husband's health (his eye surgeries were a success and he can drive again next week!) and whether or not I can figure out a living arrangement for my disabled adult son that doesn't require him to live with us. You know, same old same old. These are the same problems I've been wrestling with for the past 20 or so years. Books I am interested in reading - I do not yet have these, so I am not saying they are good, only that I am interested in reading them.The book most recommended by Butter Bob on Facebook is Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon - not available on Amazon yet, but obtainable via the Clickbank Marketplace.
One thing that bothers me is that Eat Stop Eat is only available on Clickbank, and honestly, I don't have a lot of confidence in ANYTHING sold on that marketplace ... despite having been an affiliate for many years. I've only ever found 2 or 3 things that I could feel OK putting my name to and promoting. You know, that old ethics thing. However ... I am seriously thinking about buying this one from the Butter Bob link because it's the only one he's recommending ... so if/when I get around to getting my own copy, I will review it. In the meantime, that link is MY affiliate link mainly so I can find it again when I need to. I tend to lose things and forget exactly where I put them, so this is more for my benefit than anything else. I can't recommend it yet, having not read it myself.
I have often heard the phrase, "Time Flies When You're Having Fun" but as I realize today I have not posted here in over a YEAR, most of which has NOT been fun, I have to assume that time is going to fly no matter what you do. It just goes and you get old and wonder what you did for the past 50 years. No, I'm not a grump this morning, but I have some things weighing heavy on my heart, and of course that means my head is getting involved. What happened is that a scraper picked up a blog that I deleted a year or so ago, and my husband still had a feedburner subscription to it so when he got a foreign language spam "new post" alert, he thought I'd been hacked in a big, bad way. To be honest, I couldn't remember if I'd deleted all the blogger blogs or if I had just wanted to, so I had to spend some time digging around in my notes to find my correct log in and password so I could check. That's what started me down this rabbit hole this morning, and in process I realized I have a lot of things here that need fixing. So ... that's what's spurring this update post this morning. A lot has happened in the past year, but I guess the biggest "news" is that we opted to work in "Santa's Sweatshop" again this year. The images are mine, top one is a view of the campers line up before everybody arrived, and the second image is the old view from our front steps before the view blocking trailer moved in, and also before the owner tore down those two houses. I'm glad to tell you he left that gorgeous magnificent tree in place. I just love looking at that tree. We started early this year, in August, so we have completed 13 weeks in the sweat shop. Just five and a half more weeks and we will earn that twice missed bonus on our third attempt. I spent a lot of time this past year deleting projects and trying to eliminate many of the shiny objects that have distracted me. That's why I no longer have any blogs up on blogger, and I am down to 4 urls that I own now. I also cut way back on affiliate marketing, and while we spent some time "feeding the River Beast" and opening a store on "the Big Bay", the internet sales tax issue looms large and is disconcerting. So I closed the store on the 'Bay and stopped feeding the River Beast when the opportunity arose to go work in the Sweat Shop. The fact that we can both work and get a paycheck with overtime most weeks, plus my online job that I have managed to hang on to, means we have a chance to fix more things on the Argosy and perhaps get out on the road again in 2015. God I hope so! That online job is with LeapForce - if you are looking for a legitimate online job and have a lot of attention to detail and the ability to do really boring, tedious work, here's a link to their current openings: LeapForce Jobs It's really old news now, but it's part of what brings me to this neglected website this morning: Squidoo sold content and writers to HubPages. I had eliminated all but 3 of my lenses, and they got transferred, only I have not yet had time to go claim the account and/or delete it. That's on my ever lengthening "to do" list. I noticed I have a lot of bad links here that I need to delete and replace with better ones. That's how I wound up on this blog today. As Squidoo was going belly up, I found another site called bubblews that was paying writers for social commentary, similar to FaceBook's social commentary without the slick interface. That platform has undergone tremendous changes, and now the pay has dropped dramatically. Still ... I only need about 2000 more likes, views, and comments to collect my last $50 and then I think I'll just let it slip away quietly. If you want to see what I've done there, here's the link: My Bubblews Profile. I finally got my little golden accordion! Click here to read my story on Bubblews because it's too long to put here right now.Today is my day off, and it's supposed to snow today. If it does, I guess I'll be writing another post to show y'all my snowman. We get Saturdays and Wednesdays off, Sunday is our overtime day, and it looks like we'll be working every Sunday until December 23 rolls around. That's our scheduled layoff date, but that could change given as how they are closing this facility forever, and might keep some campers on for a little longer to help them turn out the lights. If they want to keep us longer, we'll stay. Opportunities for folks over 70 to earn money and get overtime are few and far between, and hubby is very pleased that we are still here after 13 weeks of mostly 50 hr workweeks. Got some bills paid off, got some things fixed, and now we are poised to save up some money for next year's needs. We got a bad case of "work sux, but we need those bux". I'm sure you can relate.
|
Crescent City GalA Work in Progress, just like this website. Archives
July 2020
Categories |